Thinking About Wearing a Fake Pecker to Work? You Might Want to Reconsider!

Posted on January 14, 2012


Pennsylvania (Dana DiFilippo-Philadelphia Daily News) – IS THAT a Fruit-A-Freeze in your pocket – or are you just happy to see me?

A northeastern Pennsylvania woman is suing a South Jersey-based maker of frozen treats and other snack foods, claiming that she was wrongfully fired because she wore a prosthetic penis to workShe wore a WHAT?

Pauline Davis, 45, wore the device to the J&J Snack Foods plant in Moosic, Lackawanna County, while she contemplated a gender change, according to a federal civil-rights complaint filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Scranton. She confided in several co-workers about the device, and someone told management, according to the complaint.  Wait, she went around telling her co-workers she was wearing a fake dick?  Did she not think that some people would find that odd or even creepy?  When I was a kid, there was this saying we’d use when describing certain, “no shit” truths:  if grandma had balls, grandpa wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with her.

She subsequently was fired from her job as a packer/line inspector. Her termination, she claims, was discriminatory because a male co-worker who wore female clothing and prostheses and took hormone treatments was not fired nor disciplinedYeah, but did he go around talking about his pecker?

Further, argued her Bucks County-based attorney, Lalena J. Turchi, her fake penis was concealed and “in no way interfered with her ability to do her job.”  No guy’s dick interferes with him doing a job, well unless he works in a strip club, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Davis filed a complaint in March 2010 with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission office in Philadelphia, claiming gender and gender-identity discriminationOh here we go…

She is seeking back pay, damages for suffering and humiliation, and punitive damages, according to this week’s lawsuit.  Damages of suffering and humiliation?  If she was humiliated for wearing a fake schmekel, then WHY’D SHE WEAR IT?  If she was humiliated over people finding out about it, then WHY’D SHE TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT???

The Daily News tried unsuccessfully to reach Davis, of Clifford, a Susquehanna County township north of Scranton, for comment. Imagine that!  Her attorneys did not return telephone calls or emails yesterday for comment.

J&J Snack Foods Corp., based in Pennsauken, manufactures, markets and distributes treats including soft pretzels, slushies, frozen pops, cookies and churros. Churros, LOL! A J&J spokeswoman referred comment to a human-resources supervisor, who did not return our telephone call.

Do you believe this, America?  What a load of bullshit!  Not on the part of the company, mind you, but on the part of this dumb broad – hear me out.

This broad wants to be a guy, huh?  Alright sweety, you just had your first lesson, your dick is going to get you into trouble!  Such examples are former President Bill Clinton and U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner (weiner, lol).  What, you thought because you consider yourself a woman you can play both sides of the fence?  Hate to break it to you honey, but those with a set hanging, are treated alot different than those who don’t.  

This broad screwed up by talking about what was in her pants; plain and simple.  Any guy knows, if you go around talking about your hog at work, you’re asking to get fired.  All it takes is for some broad, in one of her moods, or on the rag or something, to get a bug up her ass, and go complain.  All she has to say is that she was made to feel “uncomfortable,” and the guy gets the door.

Gender and gender-identity discrimination?  No stupid, you talked about your wang, (fake or not, it’s yours – I’m sure you still have the receipt to prove it) at work.  Although, now that I think about it, some 45-year-old broad, walking around wearing a fake dong so she could feel like a man, does dance awfully close to the border of psychotic.

You want to be a guy in the workplace?  Here you go, now you know what it’s like.

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