State DNR Cracking Down On Nude Beach In Wisconsin Over Illicit Sex and Drug Use

Posted on April 18, 2012

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Wisconsin (The Gaslamp Post) – When you hear the name Wisconsin, what comes to mind?  Fat people…  Cows…  Cheese…  The Packers…  Snow…  Really, really cold winters…  Polka music…

Well folks, there’s one more thing that America’s Dairyland can add to its resume; a nude beach.  So?  What’s the big deal, some more liberal-minded individuals would ask.  As it turns out, people from all over the country have flocked to this place for the opportunity to, as one man put it, “feel a certain sense of personal freedom that you don’t really get sitting in  your apartment in Milwaukee.”

Now however, the state is moving to start clamping down on some activities surrounding the beach, after arrests have been made due to public sexual activity and drug use.

Something tells me that actually seeing naked Wisconsinites, lying about in broad daylight, wearing nothing but what their momma gave them; may cause one to have to wash their eyes out with bleach.

The state bought the stretch of the river about 25 miles north of the state capitol, Madison, back in 1949, in hopes of spurring hunting, fishing, and other outdoor activities.  It’s unclear if this is the sort of outdoor activity that they had in mind.  Even though there are laws on the books which make publicly displaying one’s genitals in public a no-no, Dane County (where the beach is located) is not likely to prosecute anyone for this.  It is reportedly the most liberal county in the state, according to FoxNews.

A group of nudists who has claimed the beach as their own, called “The Friends Of Mazo Beach,” has tried to create a non-judgemental, open, and respectful environment.  They have even gone as far as to open up the nudist experience to minors (with parents permission) and families.  Yes, even children, refered to as “younglings” are welcome to accompany their degenerate mommies and daddies, so that they can grow up with no hang-ups about the naked, human body.

As if seeing naked Wisconsinites (who like their brats and cheese, according to the website) is going to put any child at ease.

Hey, how bad can it be, right?  They do not simply stand or lie around naked, how boring would that be after all?  No, they offer various family friendly, naked, “olympic” style games; sun flower seed spittin’, naked tug-of-war, naked balloon stomping, and (wait for it… wait for it…) a naked banana relay.

That ain't right...

I’ll leave it up to my readers to figure out how THAT one is accomplished.

“family-style nudism, where sexual preferences and harassments are not a public issue, where consumption of alcohol is controlled, where illegal activities and substances are forbidden.”

Unfortunately, according to witnesses and state DNR agents, this hasn’t been the case.  Authorities say that the number of arrests for illicit sex and drug related offenses in a little over nine days this past season has risen to 42.  This is a considerable jump from just a few years ago, where in 2007, it was only 14 during a period of six days.

A woman who reportedly owns the property directly across the river from the beach, Ms. Ruth Bender said that, “They were having sex right on the islands, the sandbars when the river was  lower.  People can’t understand something like that is going on. That’s a nice section  of the river. I don’t know what fun they get out of that.”

Fat naked guy bowling...

Ms. Bender reportedly ran a canoe rental business, and said that the nude beach has hurt her business.  Her customers began avoiding the location and eventually her operation.  She reportedly filed a lawsuit in 2001, in an attempt to get the DNR to make the beach goers put clothes on, but was told to basically look the other way if she didn’t like what she saw.  Her suit was dismissed.

Now it seems that the state may be starting to take some action.  Since 2007, DNR has been beginning to close off sections of the woods and cut down some of the tree line and brush around the beach, in order to remove cover.  They reportedly had cited men for performing oral sex on each other, possession of drugs, and public masturbation.

The beach area is closed from 8:00 pm at night until 6:00 am, and the sandbars have been off-limits to camping, since the late 1990’s.  “Our overall goal down here is to reduce user conflicts,” said Warden Jeremy Plautz, supervisor of Dane County DNR. “This is sort  of the next step.”

“They keep trying to save us from ourselves,” nude beach frequent visitor Charlie Wise said. “Every creature on this  property is allowed to have sex except the people who run the property.”

(h/t:  Drudge Report, CBS-TV, FoxNews)