This Summer’s Drought Has Brought Forth Yet Another Crisis; A Proud Tradition Almost Hampered By A Shortage Of Poo…

Posted on September 4, 2012

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Yes, you read that correctly.

Wisconsin (The Gaslamp Post) – An apparent shortage of a hot commodity in the great state of Wisconsin almost put the kibosh on a time-honored tradition.  The 38th annual “Cow Chip Throw and Festival,” held in Prarie Du Sac, Wisconsin, was almost $#!T canned after this summer’s drought had yielded unsatisfactory “cow chips”.

The ordinarily copious resource found throughout America’s Dairyland, was unfortunately in short supply so event organizers had to be especially resourceful when trying to come up with enough crap to fling around.

Terry Slotty, an event organizer of Wisconsin’s Cow Chip Throw and Festival, pictured with his amassed cow chips. Image Carrie Antlfinger/AP

What caused this problem was that cows in Wisconsin didn’t have the abundant grass to feast upon, which is necessary to hold the “chips” together.  The cows instead reportedly ate cattle feed and feasted closer to their barns where they could get relief from the harsh day sun.

When this happens, their “chips” weren’t able to dry out in the sun, resulting in a lower quality, sub-standard, product – and the shortage of the much needed item.

“This is my 24th throw, and it’s never been this difficult to find chips,” said Marietta Reuter, who helps organize the festival that ran from this past Friday to Saturday.  “If it looks like it has air bubbles on the top, it’s bad chip,” Reuter said. “It won’t be worth it because it will be light and airy. But if it’s thick and solid and grassy, it’s a good chip.”

This year, organizers went out themselves and tried to locate as many “good” chips as they could, but were only able to find what was reported to have been between 200 and 300.  In order to ensure that the popular event would happen, they dipped into their “reserves” and were able to provide an additional 150 – 200 for the event.

People turned out this year nonetheless to this years event, themed “Pirates of the Cowwibean.”

The first place thrower in the men’s division was able to launch his cow chip a whopping 211 feet, whereas his female first place winner counterpart sent hers flying to a destination 130.2 feet.  This just goes to show you that in some places on God’s green earth, B@LL$#!T does fly!